Friday Top 5 - Biggest Challenges

5 Biggest Challenges of Having a New Baby

Having a new baby is a huge blessing, but doesn’t come without its challenges. This week’s top 5 is a list of the biggest challenges we face having a new baby in the house. Next week’s list will be the top 5 blessings, and I have a feeling many of the same things will be coming up again, as many of the challenges we face turn out to be blessings as well. For now, here are the our top 5 challenges of having a new baby:

Kathryn

1 – Breastfeeding. Although it’s getting much easier, breastfeeding is still a bit of a challenge. It’s a huge adjustment to be on call for someone else 24 hours a day. When the baby cries (or even when she doesn’t, every 3 hours) I need to drop everything and be available to her. There are many moments in the middle of the night that I would give anything to be able to go back to bed and have my husband get up to feed her, but I know breastfeeding is best for her and that it’s worth all the hard times, so I press on.

2 – Postpartum recovery. This is something I was not prepared for - a month later I have still not fully recovered! I still have to take baths every day (doctor’s orders) which is difficult to find time for, and take away from nap time. I also still find it uncomfortable to sit, which makes breastfeeding more difficult. 

3 – Waking up every couple hours. Although I often wake up in the morning feeling rested, and manage to make it to 9 or 10 at night without taking a nap, I find it very hard to get up through the night. It often feels like I’ve JUST laid my head on my pillow when she’s crying again. I end up sleeping in a chair for a least a couple hours every night, which is taking it’s toll on my back, and likely contributing to my slow recovery. 

4 – Colic/Crying. I’m sure my mom is laughing out loud as she reads this, as Ileana is not a “colicky” baby. She is generally very good… except for about 4-5 hours every evening. Luckily my husband is usually home, and he’s a big help, but it’s an awful feeling hearing her scream and scream, knowing something is bothering her and not being able to make it stop (both for her comfort and our own sanity)! 

5 – Being home all day. This comes as no surprise – I’ve never been the type to sit in the house all day, even on the weekends. I like to be busy (which I suppose I am, but it’s a different type of busy) and I find it hard to go a whole workday without talking to another adult. Luckily, though, I'm now feeling well enough to drive so I’ve started to get out of this house for short amounts of time. I’ve also been very blessed to have many visitors throughout the day, who not only keep my company, but give me opportunities to nap, shower, take a bath or get some cleaning done.

 

Natasha

I am exactly the kind of person who wants to say everything is great because it is most of the time, and when it is I tend to forget about the rough times that make the good moments so great. I also find that bringing home another new baby hasn't created any new challenges, but has amplified the ones I already had. It's been good for me to sit back on all of those things that make the good moments so great, and be thankful for this life that is a constant call to holiness and self-sacrifice (and the fact that when I mess up, another opportunity to get it right is just around the corner!)

1 - My toddler. I love this little guy to pieces, but he has been the single greatest challenge in bringing home this baby. He's been really great at home and he adores his new baby sister, but his newfound independence while a blessing at home is proving to be a problem when I venture out with the whole clan in tow. I used to just carry him everywhere but now that he's not the littlest I have to hold his hand and let him walk. When my daughter was his age she was happy to stay at my side, but this little guy is off and running as soon as his feet hit the ground. And since outings are a necessity in our schedule for the older kids, I need to make it work somehow. It certainly makes for a hairy afternoon!

2 - One more voice! When all the kids are happy, there's almost nothing that brings as much joy to my heart as the sounds of their little voices filling my house. But this being an imperfect world (and us being imperfect people) sometimes they are all going at once. Yelling, crying, being super-excited, interrupting each other. And I have a hard time tuning any of them out, which means that if the baby is crying, my preschooler is throwing a tantrum, one older boy is trying to tell me a story while another talks right over him, my head feels like it's going to explode! I'm sure it's a good thing that God made mothers with a sensitivity to their children's voices, but sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on one (or more) of them just a little bit!

3 - Routine (or lack thereof!). I'm trying to take each day with Mary as it comes, knowing that at this stage every day is different and trying not to have any expectations. And while it helps me to be available to my little one on demand, it makes getting housework done tricky. If she has a fussy day I'm with her, and if she ends up sleeping a lot I find myself not sure what to do with myself, reluctant to start anything I may not be able to finish. There are of course many things that need to be done regardless (feeding and educating the kids chief among them!) but I've had to pick and choose a lot of the other stuff, and make peace with the fact that everything's not going to get done every (most) day(s).

4 - Forgetfulness. It is absolutely crazy how quickly I forget things, and I get so frustrated with myself. A few weeks ago when my mothet-in-law was keeping the kids overnight, she called to let me know what to pack for them, and as soon as I hung up the phone I called right back to see if she needed dress clothes for Mass for them. She laughed and said, "I just asked you that!" Seriously it's that bad. I hope it gets better soon and in the meantime, I'm getting real good at saying, "I'm sure you probably told me this already, but..."

5 - Being spread so thin. I have no doubt in my mind that this life is my path to holiness and I struggle to put this as a challenge. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to love these little ones, and the moments of chaos carry the greatest possibility of loving by serving joyfully and treating them with dignity. I wish I was an expert at this but I still have a looooong way to go. But being confronted with their innocence in my moments of failure convicts me faster than anything else, and their quickness to forgive me makes me want to try even harder. Someday I'll finish complete thought after complete thought and long for the days when my home was so full of life I had to put my thoughts side for a few minutes. I pray I can make the most of these days while I'm living them now, so that I can embrace Jesus and bring Him to my children while they are still in my care.